In my last post, I was hung up on debating worship style. That is still stuck in my head, probably since we went to church recently. We are not frequent attendees just because we like to sleep in, and our toddler can be a handful, so it is rather difficult to keep her entertained in a confined space for that long. We felt it was necessary to attend as the current pastor was leaving to pursue other opportunities. She and the church had provided a lot of support when my wife was pregnant, bringing meals and just being helpful. We wanted to at least bid her a heartfelt farewell. To understand better let me tell you about my current church experience.

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4 Ways to Survive Adult timeout

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And go to Sunday service, and being in church singin’
Ain’t been to church in awhile
But it ain’t just about how you just praise him in the building
It’s about how you praisin’ him while you out
You taught me to remember that when I get set back
Been through the worst times to get the best back
-Big Sean, Sunday Morning Jetpack

Do you ever question your faith? Your beliefs? Maybe not. I have questioned aspects of what I believe and what that means many times. Maybe because it has been quite a long time since I have had a church to call home. A community that I have felt supported and direction. Choosing a church home is very personal. The decision is one that is quintessential to your development of community and support. Why I struggle so much with this is because I have had a tumultuous relationship with churches. To understand let me tell you a little about my past.

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Dancing with the Devil

Flows on flows, I might drown in this bitch

Ye found a pro, I guess I’m profound in this bitch

My dad from Louisiana, man the smallest town

Where if they know you’re brown, they might hold you down and even hose you down, man

    -Big Sean, Light

Drowning yeah life is like that sometimes. Sometimes in a literal sense and figurative at others. March so far has been a very dreary month. The type of weather where the comfort of a good book, comfortable chair, a warm quilt and a cup of tea are the best state of mind. If you’re like me in these times your creative energy peaks. You have a rush like the downpour of rain during a flood. Flows on flows, like Sean says, creative thoughts whirling in your head. At these times I’m overtaken by nostalgia. Thinking of past events, social experiences, and conversations that I once had. Remembering what made these experiences most enjoyable. My hobbies are like that for me. They are the flood of emotions that overtake me when I’m immersed in a narrative. We all have many hobbies some more than others but for me; I’m a gamer, avid reader, and a blogger. Finding time for these is difficult at times but in those dreary months like this march has been I thrive as it is the perfect atmosphere to sit with a book, tablet, laptop, notebook or controller and let the story take over. A flood, a deluge of emotion, experience, and perspective laid bare to enjoy.

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Hear the whizzing, the buzzing, the knocking sounds as the slow melodic tunes of John Legend inspired songs to play. The quiet ushers the thoughts that have been swirling to single file through my conscious mind. Time the one thing that matters most in this world. How we spend it? What we decide is most important? these questions are what I am most concerned about lately.
Last Saturday I had to get an MRI for the first time. Referencing the tunnel vision that I experienced is what made me focus the thoughts that had been swirling. For 40 minutes I was told to lay still. That stillness was my focus. I thought was I in love with the lie? Was I in denial? no life is what we make it and I’ve been making the most out of it lately. I focused on three things that ran through my mind:

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Tunnel Vision

Understandably there many things that I could do better. I’m not perfect. I’m human. Imperfect by nature and design. This, however, is what makes us remarkable in our capacity to change. I often write about change and introspection but what is the point, If we learn nothing from these experiences. The point you ask? The point is moving the needle forward.

I start this series as a way to actualize a target. Something that I have commented on for a while now. Provide my readers with value from visiting my space in the world. I want you to have a way to improve your life. Make things simpler. Besides a unique perspective, I offer insights into process improvement. Much like the song “Go get it” by TI, I want you all to go get it. Understand how you can make your life more productive. More efficient.  Process improvement if implemented can help you be more successful.

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Go Get Improvement