Defining the intersection between listening and living


To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die;

The fourth made me think and consider a great deal of things. Then Saturday we celebrated my sisters birthday by going out to dinner. It made me realize how important family is and how each person is different, especially  when coping with the death of a loved one.

My maternal grandmother died in March of this year. She was the true matriarch of our family and it shows. It seems that everyone is trying to adjust in their own way and struggling to a fault with accepting that she is gone. I see how her children are trying to cope and it saddens me as she was in such pain that it was better that she finally find peace and yet this being the fact my uncle turned to a bottle, my aunt is finding it hard to cope with making it through daily work and life. While the others coast by. Each is trying to handle it in their own way and yet when we have family gatherings which is quite often it seems that each has a harder and harder time with dealing with the fact that she is gone.

Sometimes I think that I may be cold and callus to the fact of death but I think about how I would deal with it otherwise and realize that living is the only true way to honor someone once they have passed. I have accepted the fact that she is gone, do not get me wrong I still find that there are times that I greatly miss her  but I know that it is for the best that she is no longer with us.

Within almost a week of loosing my grandmother a friend lost his mother, he is an only child in his mid-30s and is in a sad state. I sometimes wonder if he is clinically depressed as he still lives as he is 13. first you must understand that his father passed when he was still young and his mother took all the responsibility on herself to a fault. He has no home skills, has not had a job in at least nearly 3 years and currently wastes money on the most impractical things. It saddens me to watch him waste away however, how do you tell a grown adult that they need to start acting their age when any time you bring up adult issue they change the subject. I think the worst part of the entire situation is that on her deathbed his mother said, “I’m sorry” to which he replied “you have nothing to be sorry for”. The truth of the matter being in there she was apologizing for not allowing him to be an adult and leaving him with a great disservice of not knowing how to be a functional adult.  If anyone has any ideas of how to start a conversation I am all ears as I really think that it is almost time for an intervention.

As the passage says there is a season for everything and I suppose it is the individual who must determine how to confront each or change with each.

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