So today got me thinking, I mean really thinking. Several weeks ago I was watching Sunday Morning as I usually do when one of the stories caught my eye. The story featured an interview with Snoop Lion and his outreach with football. During the interview he made an interesting comment when asked how he had grown and about his change in music style. To the question he replied with a greater detail, but something really struck me. He said “If you’re not losing friends you’re not growing”. Which I have thought about ever since. This concept of maturity and growth, Maturity as defined by Webster’s, ” the state, fact, or period of being mature.”
As Webster’s defines maturity as the state or fact of being mature is maturity a period of self-affirmation? Is growth in maturity really leaving behind childish pursuits even if this means friends we have made? Separating from those we deem as unfit. Lately I have really been struggling with this with the upcoming expectations of fatherhood I am not sure what is the best way to grow and mature.
Now I have had the same friends since high school, two really close friends and the other I am not sure what to call him he is a friend, I’m just not as close with him as compared to my relationship with the other two. Do not get me wrong I have other friends, and people who I have met in my adult life I am just not as open or relaxed with them this is just one of my character flaws. I take my time to open up to others and am rather hesitant in calling someone friend. Once I do make this concession of my heart I am loyal, at times to a fault. These are people who I would honestly live and die for, people I consider family. The quote from Snoop Lion made me think about these relationships though and the type of people who I associate myself with. I always say that one of my best personality traits and one of the worst is that I am a loyal friend through and through. No matter what it is I am there for the people that I call friends right or wrong, good or bad whatever. I have not really lost any friends and this made me think. Have I not matured or is it that the people who have the most maturing just notice this more. I think it is a little of both. Of the three friends that I am really close with only one is married with children. The other two are single one lives on his own, and unfortunately has health problems. The other and questionable one lives on his on but only since his mother died, in the same apartment with no job, collecting a check for a settlement that he was left as the beneficiary. The days passed I think of just stopping communication with this friend because he has no goals or ambitions for bettering himself its sad and that said I am not sure that I want my child exposed to that. That concept is funny to me I know they say your mindset changes when you become a parent but it is very apparent when you start to evaluate the relationships you have and the type of people you surround yourself with.
Questions come to mind though how do parents find a support group? I am by no means a social person as I am rather introverted and hold my cards close surveying most initial interactions. So how do you find a group of like-minded people. People/ families much like you when you are in a different place in life than most of the friends you have. Now I am not sure that I am in completed agreement with comments from Snoop Lion. That said I do agree on some conscious level that there is a great deal of truth to these worlds. I know that I am facing that truth and whether I choose to separate myself from some of the people who still have child like mindsets, stay in contact, and look for other like-minded couples with children to interact with. I know that I will lessen the time spent with these close friends, I am a bit sad but this is a reality in maturing.