February 23, 2016
I Fell off
I’m still reeling from Saturday nights conversation. It had been nearly five months since I had last spent anytime with DB. This was my sad realization as we approached a very candid conversation. This is someone I consider a best friend and who mutually thinks of me as the same. Don’t get me wrong we are two grown individual and understand that people make choices to leave friends behind, mature, grow or just abandon relationships for various reasons. I always considered us to be, “real Friends”. Making reference to The song Real friends off of Kanye’s new album The Life of Pablo which was one of the topics of conversation. Real friends embodies our sentiments of our recent interactions and relationship.
I have never been that type of person you know. The one that would abandon life-long friends at a whim or over something petty. Having Kids changes the dynamic some but I feel still guilty and responsible for not reaching out. I had told them that I would make an effort to make time. Maybe not a lot but at least some and I failed. That is at least my sentiment. Real friends like DB are not easy to find so the thought that, He thought I had fallen off and would not reach out was hard to swallow, True but still hard.
Real friends, how many of us?
How many of us, how many jealous? Real friends
It’s not many of us, we smile at each other
But how many honest? Trust issues
Switched up the number, I can’t be bothered
I cannot blame you for havin’ an angle
I ain’t got no issues, I’m just doin’ my thing
Hope you’re doin’ your thing too
I’m a deadbeat cousin, I hate family reunions
Fuck the church up by drinkin’ after communion
Spillin’ free wine, now my tux is ruined
In town for a day, what the fuck we doin’?
Who your real friends? We all came from the bottom
I’m always blamin’ you, but what’s sad, you not the problem
Damn I forgot to call her, shit I thought it was Thursday
Why you wait a week to call my phone in the first place?
When was the last time I remembered a birthday?
When was the last time I wasn’t in a hurry?
[Bridge: Ty Dolla $ign]
Tell me you want your tickets when it’s gametime
Even to call your daughter on her FaceTime
Even when we was young I used to make time
Now we be way too busy just to make time
Even for my…
[Hook: Kanye West + Kanye & Ty Dolla $ign]
I guess I get what I deserve, don’t I?
Word on the streets is they ain’t heard from him
I guess I get what I deserve, don’t I?
Talked down on my name, throwed dirt on him
It is surreal that so much time had past in the blink of an eye. He express that he also felt guilty but since I was the one that said I would reach out when I had time and they still sent me messages when they were getting together and doing things. I was just busy with family stuff. Most of this was trying to maintain a healthy family.I definitely did not want to expose DB to any type of illness with his compromised immune system.
Lookin’ for all my real friends
How many of us? How many of us are real friends
To real friends, ’til the reel end
‘Til the wheels fall off, ’til the wheels don’t spin
To 3 A.M., callin’
How many real friends?
Just to ask you a question
Just to see how you was feelin’
What was supposed to be me going to hang out for around an hour or two, turned to a five hour conversation in the blink of an eye. We got so engrossed in our dialog, time drifted by. We bounced all over the place as we brought up our ever changing lives we reminisced on times past and how for DB he had several past acquaintances resurface. One particular person knew the both of us. It was not until he was recalling to them how we met that they spoke up and said that they were there. He then had to recall and they were present being that they were a quiet individual he did not realize this before. We laughed as he told me about this and I recalled the person and it was that much more hilarious. We talked further about television series we were watching, DB getting a Netflix subscription, video games and just life. It was funny as DB got me caught me up on things that were occurring in his life I told him how Lucille had progressed. It had been ages and she was now talking in small sentences. We got to music and our conversation exploded in all the new music and the Grammy’s. Kanye’s new album was one of the major topics but also I told him how I now consume and keep track of new and up coming tracks. I started listing to Complex and several radio shows on Youtube while at work that way I could have these play in the background and accomplish tasks.
We mused about the albums as DB is one of the few friends that I can talk about all genres of music. Our conversation can be fluid moving from alternative to rock to rap and hip hop to country to soul and beyond. So when I told him about the track real friends he understood.
Our time together progressed and the conversation went to a different place see DB normally tries to get me to try and explain things about relationships like that between single friends and married couples or couples and singles. Sometimes between those that have kids and those that do not. He knows I will be very candid no matter whether I am also in the category or not. It is different I can always read people very well and get to their character so he often asks what I think. We ended the night late finishing up saying that we need to schedule time to do this again just not for so long. Since my wife and daughter are healthy now I told him I would have them over sometime soon. I am looking at times and dates now. Friends come and go but Real Friends are worth fighting for.