Defining the intersection between listening and living

Daddy’s Little Girl

I felt complex to write over these past few days. Documenting/cataloging significant moments of my life. I’m thinking of milestones. Those events that mark an evolution. A maturing. It’s something we all experience. We all react differently too but even with those differences it something that we can all relate to. You may ask why is this important? well, I been focusing on my daughter for the past week. Last Tuesday, June 20th marks her 3rd birthday. Let me just say yes she is an only child currently, and yes she is spoiled. She is my little girl. Daddy’s little girl.
20170620_1703311254629042I was supposed to be reviewing my projects, finalizing upcoming training and analyzing my workload but it was difficult. All I could think about was making sure that my daughter got what she wanted and appreciated it. Think about that. That is a difficult feat to have a three-year-old appreciate the gifts they are given. I’m by far not a perfect parent, no one is but I try my best and that little girl, L is my joy.  The anticipation of seeing what she does next. What interest she develops and what she makes a priority. I’m making sure that unlike some she has the freedom to be a child. No responsibilities, no cares, just unadulterated fun. That is a tall order but that is just the way I feel. So this past week was eventful. It culminated with a birthday pool party Saturday and a restful Sunday.
In the downtime that I had Sunday afternoon writing this, I got to reminiscing about the day she was born. The thoughts and feeling the raw emotions ever time I look at her I feel much like the song by J.Cole’s song, she’s mine part II:
[Intro]
Catch me, don’t you
Catch me, don’t you
Catch me, I’ve fallen in love for the first time
[Bridge]
For you I drop the tough guy shit, on this bus I sit
Thinking ’bout you, thinking ’bout you
Thinking ’bout you, thinking ’bout you
Thinking ’bout you, thinking ’bout you
Thinking ’bout you, thinking ’bout you
Damn it feel good to have you
Damn it feel good to have you
Damn it feel good to have you
Damn it feel good to have you
[Verse 1]
Needin’ me, wantin’ me, givin’ me a chance to feel special
To somebody in a world where they not lovin’ me
Handcuffs keep huggin’ the, wrists of my niggas
And I wish stuff was different here
But if I had a magic wand to make the evil disappear
That means that there would be no Santa Claus no more
To bring you Christmas cheer
‘Cause what he represents is really greed
And the need to purchase shit from corporations
That make a killin’ because they feed
On the wallets of the poor who be knockin’ on they door
Every Black Friday just to get some shit they can’t afford
Even with the discount, write a check, that shit bounce
But as long as we got credit, it don’t matter, the amount
We just swipin’ shit here, we don’t love, we just likin’ shit here
What’s that smell? Where’s your diaper shit here?
Lay on your back, don’t pee right now
Or else I’ll have to get you back
One day when you gon’ want to get your way
Yeah I’ll have fun with that
Reminisce when you came out the womb
Tears of joy I think filled up the room
You are now the reason that I fight
I ain’t never did nothing this right in my whole life
Got me thinking…
 
[Bridge]
Am I worthy of this gift?
Am I strong enough to lift? (Am I strong enough to lift?)
Into a place that I can see (Into a place that I can see)
Someone more important than me? (Someone more important than me?)
Am I worthy of this gift? (Am I worthy of this gift?)
Am I strong enough to lift (Am I strong enough to lift)
Into a place that I can see (Into a place that I can see)
Someone more important than me? (Someone more important than me?)
[Verse 2]
Ib gon’ ask me how I did this shit
I’m gon’ do a humble stunt act like I meant this shit
Thats the ego taking credit for what God made
Fuck this album shit, hey mama look what God made
(She’s mine) Catch me, don’t you
(She’s mine) Catch me, don’t you
(She’s mine) Catch me
I’ve fallen in love for the first time
I wanna cry, and I ain’t even tryna fight it
Don’t wanna die, ’cause now you’re here
And I just wanna be right by your side
On any night that you be cryin’, baby
I dry your eyes, I dry your eyes
[Outro]
There is a God, it is a God
Yeah, it is a God
I never felt so alive
I never felt so alive
I never felt so alive
(I never felt so alive)
I never felt so alive
(I never felt so alive)
Catch me, don’t you—
Catch me, don’t you—
Catch me, I’ve fallen in love for the first time
As always Thank You,
Sincerely,
M.

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11 Comments

  1. Angela Noel July 15, 2017

    I do love when fathers express love for their daughters (or children for that matter). They change us, those little people, and all for the good if we let them.

    Thanks for sharing your memories.

    • chaoscream July 15, 2017 — Post Author

      They do change us but only in the best of ways.

  2. Ashwini July 15, 2017

    She’ll such a cute girl. Good luck with the parenting 🙂

    • chaoscream July 15, 2017 — Post Author

      I think about this every time I look at her. There is definitely going to be trouble. She flirts and is very personable.Trouble but I love her.

  3. Lisa Orchard July 15, 2017

    I loved my dad. He’s gone now, but he certainly was my go-to parent. I miss him very much!

  4. Fancy July 15, 2017

    Adorable little lady!

  5. Aisya July 15, 2017

    So nice to read about good strong fathers! I grew up without knowing mine. Thank you for sharing!

    • chaoscream July 15, 2017 — Post Author

      Sorry to hear that you didn’t know your father. I wanted to make sure that my little girl knows me and spend as much time with her as possible. Putting family first is the first part In being a strong husband and father. At least that is how I am living.

  6. Ritu July 15, 2017

    Being a parent is the most important thing you will do in your life!!!

    • chaoscream July 15, 2017 — Post Author

      I agree my little girl is what keeps me going. Now that I have to but I want to.

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