August 22, 2017
Thoughts while thinking
We use several analogies to describe our maturation. The colorful and metaphoric comparisons, read below:
1. Life is to writing a book:
Your life is like a book. The title page is your name, the preface your introductions to the world. The pages are a daily record of your efforts, trials, pleasures, discouragements, and achievements. Day by day your thoughts and acts are being inscribed in your book of life. Hour by hour, the record is being made that must stand for all time. Once the word ‘finish’ must be written, let it then be said of your book that it is a record of noble purpose, generous service, and work well-done.
– Grenville Kleiser
2. A journey:
For each of us, life is a journey. Heavenly Father designed it for us out of love. Each of us has unique experiences and characteristics, but our journey began in the same place before we were born into this world.
– Henry B. Eyring
3. A flower:
Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind. The real you is loving, joyful, and free. The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.
– Don Miguel Ruiz
These examples describe how we mature. We evolve. We mature from adolescence to adults. We define what our happiness is. What are our goals? What life means to us. I’ve been swirling with this. What am I choosing to say? What does my life say about me? What am I saying to others? Think about that for a moment. Can you tell me what your life says about you to others? Much like I read from Quin’s post, Thoughts giving and taking life advice, what are the people around you saying. Are the friend that gives advice or asks for it. That post stirred something in me. I cant stop thinking what my message is. I have tried to avoid making this space about race but I realize that is a part of my experience. Unfortunately, lately, it has been a major focal point. It is also a point. A piece of my puzzle. A piece about how I raise my daughter. A piece that is larger than me. I’ve matured some in these thirty something years but there is still more. More than I need to say, people, I need to connect with. Conversations to be had. this is the reason why I find excitement in reading autobiographies. I’m still stuck on Angie Martinez’s, My Voice. The story is that historic. I’m delving deep so I can understand what that story means for me. I haven’t been about to finish it.
As I continue my maturation often I consider what makes the most sense. What am I saying is my life’s work. How do I describe myself? What is my character? The love and hate that I have are for the character that I have created. Defined by the choices but is this what I want. I am in my thirties and have a child. I am in an interracial marriage. I am in a successful position. By all standards, I am in a good place. There are still times when I struggle between loving and hating myself.
Thinking back to when I’ve given the best advice there are conflicts that shaped the circumstances that I chose to speak. Giving advice comes easy for me because I not only have a pragmatic mindset but I’m very objective. my sign is a cancer so I am somewhat emotional, in the sense that I always take emotions into consideration. What am I feeling? How would I feel? I’m also slightly jaded. A part of that is because of society and the other is my own doing. Relating to my position, in this case, is not about race but experience, maturity and time. I function in a world that at times loves to hate me. Yet, this world also gave me my beautiful, wife and daughter so I always seek to believe in people. Others may not have any idea what it is like. I watch my little girl and know that the character that I have created did at least one thing right. I know that no matter what I may struggle with loving and hating myself. understanding my experience. Trying to find deeper meaning for me. All these are things that I need to impart to her. Making sure to pass on my successes and failures to make her the best she can be.
Advice, well its a double edge sword. Speaking from experience it is best to give it sparingly. So I give advice but I always temper it. I want to present an equally unbias position. As I said I am jaded but I almost never give that perspective because I want there to be hope. Looking at the state of people. The hate, the love, I have to keep believing that there is hope if for no other reason than for L. I’m in that space right now. The place where awareness and self-reflection meet.
Tell me where are you at in your life? Do you love and hate things?
As always Thank you